Believe it or not, I've cried for the fifth time. This time round, I am hurt badly based on what I've saw. I've been so emoticonal this days, I don't know why. I just can't controlled my feelings and besides that, I can stop thinking negatively about you. However, all the negatives thoughts that lingers on my mind are true. Even if I've tried, I failed to do so. Cus, I'm no longer the old me. And I think that I'm following someone's atittude. I realised that. Whenever I tried to smile at you, I failed. Instead, I rolled my eyes at you. I'm so sorry but due to my anger, what's on my mind now is to follow what my heart says. And just so you know, fifth time is considered too much. So, think about it. I mean, think back how much you've hurt me.

I've tried to think positive but I failed, again. I tried to hold on my tears, I failed and I have to let it go. I feel like a loser. I feel like an idiot & also I feel so hopeless. I'm so weak. I can't handle small things. Sometimes, I love to drag this issues longer. I just don't understand me. Serious, I don't. I don't understand why I can understand people's situation but me, I don't understand my situation. Infact, I don't know what I'm doing. Sometimes, I don't think before I do things that obviously would affects me. I am so pathetic :[ Besides that, I've changed. I hate smiling to people cus in the end, they would just give me faces or they reply me with fake smile. [ kalo tak ikhlas, takyah senyum skali kan senang ] -.-

The only one who can make me happy is none other than my friends & my crewmates. Thanks for being there for me. I really appreciate your advice and stuff. It really makes me feel better. I hope after all those talks, I would be okay. And now, I'm still not okay. My mind are disturbed with this stupid thing. Urgh, I really can't get over it. Fuck it. I have to move on....

If you feel that you are not satisfied with certain things/the way I talk/ the way I looked at you, feel free to confront with me. But please, talk with nice way or else, nothing would solved. On the other hand, I hope that none of you had hold grudges on me. Thank you.

Shidah & friends, I'm sorry that I could not come last minute due to some urgent things that I must go. I'm so sorry :( And lastly, happy fifteeeeeen birthday Farrah Farisha :)

Lastly, I miss the old us. Can I have it back? *tears rolling down the cheeks*